The four most beautiful pieces of my soul live outside my body.
The four most vulnerable pieces of my soul live outside my body.
The four most precious, valuable, and sacred pieces of my soul live outside my body.
My children are the most beautiful piece of me.
This mom life is no joke. It's no creative disaster, it's no day of sunshine, it's nothing like I had imagined amidst entering motherhood. That day a living, breathing, and dependent being is put in your arms .. for me, that was the day I lost myself. I lost myself divinely, purposefully, and whole fully in my child- because you, little one, are a piece of my heart that I never understood, but now it's so clear.
Being a Mother is this worlds toughest job. You have the toughest critics, minimal appreciation, and all the while you have given up your heart and soul to walk externally out of your body.
I'm not sure about you, but every day I live in fear. A raging and suffocating fear I had never known prior to being a mother. The fear that if something were to ever happen to my children, either one, that I would lose myself.
I would lose the biggest part of me.
I would lose my drive.
I would lose my ambitions.
I would lose my happiness
My joy
My pride
All of these pieces of me, live every day in my children.
There is so much in motherhood that I could have never imagined existed. Everyone tries to explain to you before your child the love that you are about to know, and they are so negligent in not telling you- It's the greatest and most fulfilling love your heart will ever understand, but... it's terrifying. It is absolutely, positively, terrifying.
Why?
Well, because all at once, sitting in that hospital bed- everything you've ever known or thought you knew about this exact moment was a lie.
This, this exact split-second in your life where you no longer exist how you did moments ago.
You are restored. You are fulfilled.
You are new, and brave.
Scared, and brave.
Absolutely terrified- but damn it, you are so incredibly brave!
Because this world needs more brave.
Piece by piece, my children walk with the most incredible parts of me and they have no idea.
No idea how deep my love runs for their smiles, their voices, the innermost parts of what makes them who they are. Beautiful pieces of me.
Love,
1/5 of The Beauteous Burrell
