The Working Mom; Why your exhaustion is beautiful.

 

 

Hey Mama,

I know how you feel.

 

Tired.

Not just kind-of tired. Dog-Tired.

Monotonous.
Bat-shit crazy.

Absent.

Tapped Out.

On the tail end of a Donkey.

Depleted.
Stick-a-fork-in-me-and-call-me-well-done.

 

I feel every [potential baby vomit-tinged] hair on your head when I say I am picking up what you are putting down.

 

-Tired of the sleepless nights, which lead to endless days

-Tired of tantrums, and incessant spills
-Tired of sippy cups with mysteriously no matching godforsaken lid anywhere in this universe.
-Tired of being tattled on by your tiny dictators

-Tired of having your patience tested by the children at home and in your workplace
-Tired of people without children, telling you they're tired
-Tired of smells and messes appearing in your home you never imagined could be created by humans

-Tired of never finding a single matching children's sock in your home, or basically any clean article of clothing

(Only to name a few)
 

 

Oh. and the fucking laundry.

 

  All the while mama, you feel guilty. I feel guilty. Though you love your children beyond the greatest imagination of this world, sometimes you just want to sprint out the door like a fire was ignited in your pants, to a padded room with a straight-jacket; where there will hopefully be another adult who doesn't depend on you, or me and can't even make out any muffled sounds of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Dora the Explorer, or Spongebob shit-for-brains.

 

You feel guilty for yelling about the spill that was an accident, but is just that much more work for you to take care of. You feel guilty at the thought of even potentially wanting to be alone because for a quick moment you think that if someone else heard your thoughts, you'd be scorned you horribly- selfish mother, you! Guilty because you're a working mom- and because Asshole [With a capital A] is sometimes your first, middle and last name.

 

Guilty because rushing into work this morning you didn't get the chance to rock your child and have a mini-play date even though you KNOW you don't do mornings- but what if that was the last rock your baby ever wanted? What if tomorrow your baby doesn't want rocked anymore and you wasted your damn time away this morning with an extra 20 minutes of 'sleep' which was just really drunkenly closing your eyes. Guilty, selfish mama you!

 

Just when this perfect idea arrives of uninterrupted mornings, private time to take a forbidden shit in your own house, tearless drop off's at daycare- it's gone.

 Because when your so busy working and feeling guilty, mama- time is flying.

That first time baby doesn't cry during the daily episode that could easily be broadcasted on the Morning News as the new Ice-Age Meltdown which notoriously makes you late to work..that first time that those are gone, you will realize that those perfect ideas aren't so appealing anymore.

 

There will be an end to the wants and needs, and ridiculous requests of your tiny dictators, or holding hands across the car with your child.

 

And guess what tired mama? It's coming a hell of a lot sooner than you think.

 

Because when we wish away those unbearable moments that disrupt our routines and schedules...when those moments so reluctantly disappear, so do some of the most treasured ones.

 

 

Some days you feel like you are just too tired to be a good mom. Too tired to be a good and dedicated employee, and FAR beyond too tired to be even a considerably decent wife. Hell, I am not even sure I produced minimum wage work some days, or even acknowledged my husbands faint existence! Too selfish to be a good mom. Too demanding and crazy to be a good mom (Because really- why is a clean kitchen floor so much to fucking ask? Huh!)

 Mama- you are exhausted.
Because the balancing act of being a working mom is demanding and guilt is relentless. And when you're poor, poor husband asks 'why you aren't in the mood anymore' you may just show him the new and improved level of bat-shit crazy!

 

You are feeling guilty because of the moms who make homemade glittery play-dough, and bake exotic confectionaries together on a normal basis. Guilty because you aren't doing enough. Guilty because on your day off you aren't even sure if you fed your children lunch because you were so busy trying to bask in if you were more happy to be off work, or with your babies.

You aren't being enough for your children, or your employer- because you're spread far more thin than even your own patience at this point. But mama, while I know your babies are the center of your world (And so are mine) you're world does not revolve around them. Harsh, but true.

You scold yourself for every plan you have for a successful career because it could take away time from your family. You taunt yourself when you sometimes enjoy being at work because it is the only break you can seemingly catch to have any amount of adult human interaction. You torture yourself with the thought of having your own ambitions while trying to mold your childs.

 

Working mom, you are setting yourself up for a forever short-fall if you believe for one second that you can be everyone's self-righteous and severely inflated opinion of an ideal parent. You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a great parent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey mama.

 I just want you to know one thing.

 Your exhaustion is beautiful, because it shows how much you care.